The Issuse Of Insecurity...

Insecurity is one on my biggest battles. I struggle with it so often, and still seem to be losing. My thought is that, being at girl, we (or at least I am) are programmed to be insecure. Some of my insecurity issues (I am really critical of myself) are: clothing, hair, face (blemishes, dryness, eyebrows, makeup, etc...), ears (mine stick out like an elf...so I don't pull my hair much), and my smile (I said I was critical). I have just recently noticed that I have a crooked smile. The right side of my bottom lip goes down farther than the left side. I asked my mom if she ever noticed it, and she said "Oh yeah, but don't even try to straighten it out, because then it wont be your smile". Thanks mom.


Anyway, I have lots of insecurity issues that cloud my mind when I'm out. Wheather it be at church, with friends, or at a party, but then I "remeber to forget". I say that because when I remember that the people around me like me for me, not for my clothes, looks, etc... I forget about my insecurity. Also, I wouldn't really want friends that looked only on the outside apperance. I'd want the ones that looked past that. It's like they say, "Dont judge a book by it's cover", or as I say "a girl by her makeup".

My View...

Okay, I know I asked this question like forever ago, and just now am I giving you my view on H.S relationships.

To me, H.S. relationships are fine, as long at both people are mature enough to be in a relationship. I've seen my share of clingy relationships, touchy-feely relationships, and also mature relationships.

There is nothing more annoying than seeing a girl that is so extremely clingy to her guy, that even if he's your friend, you feel weird talking to him because you're afraid she's gonna get mad at you. I cannot stand that, it drives me CRAZY!!

What about touchy-feely relationships? I feel so awkward when I'm around a guy and girl that cant keep their hands off each other. I mean come on people, have a little self-control!! I hate being in that situation, I just want to be like "Ahem, excuse me but could you keep your hands to yourself...for like two seconds, maybe?".

In my eyes mature relationships are sweetest. They know the boundaries of physical contact, they don't make others feel awkward, and they just have this realness to them. What I mean by "realness" is that they have respect for each other and the ones around them. The girl doesn't get all protective when her guy is talking to another girl. Same with the guy he's not like "Why were you talking to him? What were you saying?". Also, they remember that people, other than the gf or bf, do exist. They're not super infatuated with each other that they forget their friends. That is so important because if it so happens that they break up, they still have the strong bond of friendship with others who still love them no matter what.

High School Relationsips...

I got a letter the other day from a very dear friend and she gave me her perspective on H.S. relationships. She shared with me some of her heart and it was so great to see her point of view. I was very thankful for that feedback. Its sometimes hard to get a good perspective on something by yourself. It's branded into your mind that this thing is totally fine, and there are no drawbacks what so ever. But that's only your perspective, and who can convince you into believing something better than yourself?...no one! I am so thankful for my friend and her wise words. You know who you are and you're the best!!

What Do You Think...

What do you think of High School realtionships? Please leave comments, so I can get your opinion. Thanks!!

Men of The Modern Age...

Do you feel that there are no "gentlemen" left in this world? It's almost like manners don't matter, and that girls an no longer looked at as the weaker vessel. I'm not saying that I want to be viewed as totally helpless, but it would be nice if the guys could be a little more considerate of girls. What do you think? Every so often a guy will hold open the door for me, or help me carry something heavy...but it's rare. Also, on the other hand, girls are becoming more forward, and I think that kind of confuses the guys just a little. Some girls want to be at the same level as guys, which in turn, gives guys the wrong impression of the feminine strength and a girls place. Girls have been the one to ask the guy out. I've also heard of the girl proposing to the guy!! Call me old fashioned, but I want to be the who's proposed to, not the one proposing. So what are we, as girls, to do in this day and age with gentlemen on the brink of extinction? Easy, BE A GIRL!!! Let the guy hold the door, let him help you with heavy packages, let him BE A GENTLEMAN. I admit, I have joked around and said that I can do anything a guy can do, or I have opened the door instead of letting him do it. Yikes!! Seems like I'm confused, but I'm working on that.

"The woman's mission is not to enhance the masculine spirit, but to express the feminine".

-Margaret Thatcher

Ecclesiastes 3...

There is a passage in the Bible that talks about everything having it's own season. I especially like the part where it says "a time to love". How great to think that God knows the very day you'll meet you future husband and fall in love. It won't be a day too soon, it won't be a day too late, he'll be right on time. It's still hard for me to wait for that day...VERY HARD!!! But there comes a peace with knowing that God knows just when your day is coming. I hope my day is coming soon, but that's just me...hopelessly romantic Jocelyn.

Trial Of This Life...

Oh, the trials of this life!! Right now, I am struggling with being single. It has intensified with graduation coming and the thought of not being a "kid" anymore. Also, the guy I like is in my Senior class. He is the most talkative guy ("talkative" in a good way) in the group, and since there are only two girls in the group, me and another, and Lindsey doesn't talk much, he talks more to me. He'll be talking to someone about something and say "Oh, Jocelyn thinks that's awesome...right Jocelyn?". He'll tell me about his week, or how amazing his new computer is (he's not nerdy or anything, even though that comment sounded like it). I like that he talks to me, but it's hard to not let my feelings get the better of me. I'll start to think, "Ohhh, he's talking to me so much!", or "Wow, this is weird, I'm actually talking to the guy I like". It's hard too because he's funny, has the greatest eyes, and is tall, 6'4"...PERFECT!! But that perfection is only skin deep. When I first started liking him, my friends mom (his teacher at one time) told me to make sure of his heart. She told me that his mom is a Christian, but his dad isn't. I found out that he doesn't really go to church, and noticed that he's kind of non-chalant in his conversations. That was hard for me to hear. I was sure he was perfect at first, but what a rude awakening. My friend Sara got to meet him when he was over the other night, and she told her mom about him. Her mom said that maybe this was a wake up call for me to get my head out of the clouds, and see him off his perfect pedestal.

So, now all I can do is pray for strength to not let my heart go any farther than it has, and pray for his heart, and the hearts of the rest of his family.